Friday, July 06, 2012

Life, and enjoying God

Wow, it has been a very very long time since I last blogged. Not too many things have changed I'm battling to get the last 10pds off so that I will finally have less than 100pds to lose. Our life got kind of crazy and hectic when I found out a dear Uncle of mine had passed away and Carl offered to officiate the service; at that exact same time we found out we had close to 2000 worth of car repairs that needed to be done but had absolutely no money to fix them. Just an FYI about the car it would not be cheaper for us to get a new one our car is completely paid off and is still worth between 5 and 7thousand dollars, we couldn't afford a car payment anyways even if we wanted.

Since all of that the car has been fixed, the "details" of getting it paid for is still in the working but we had a mysterious benefactor contribute significantly to the we are feeling blessed. Carl did a wonderful job officiating my Uncle's service I think God was glorified and my family was blessed by our love and service to them. I am working my tale off to get this weight off of me. I think I have found a new motivation. I am turning 29 in August which means I only have 1more yr till I'm 30 I would love to enter a whole new decade of my life not obese that would be wonderful, so I am working really really hard and putting at least 45-60mins work outs in a day. Crazy right? How does a young mom of 2 balance working out cleaning, shopping ect...One not so easy step that I follow is to simply plan, plan, plan. I plan my day out the night before I "in my head" will list all the things I have to do for the day and then I will schedule everything accordingly sometimes that means I wake up at 5:30instead of 8 so that I can fit a work out in. Sometimes that means the kids have a designated play area in the living room that they can not leave (for safety reasons, I mean legs and arms are flying every where I don't want them getting kicked) while I am working out. Sometimes it means that I exercise 30mins in the morning and 30mins in the afternoon. It all depends on the day and what I have going on but it's encouraging for me to see that it can be done. This will sound so weird and strange but please pray that the Lord will bless all my hard efforts this week I need to see that all of my hard work is paying off, as my husband says, I'm a results oriented girl.

On a different kind of note June was a very difficult month all and all, and July isn't looking any better for reasons that have actually left me scratching my head. I can say that I don't understand why God allows certain things to happen to his people, I feel like the Psalmist when he asks God "Why do the wicked prosper?" I have cried my heart out to the Lord and there are days when I wonder if he has even heard it, is he just ignoring my pleas and why? Those that know me know that I certainly am no stranger to trials and therefor also know that God will see me through. He always does, but this time, this place of just holding on by my fingertips hurts a lot, perseverance hurts, boy does it hurt. I often feel like a trainee begging the trainer to let me stop and the trainer just says "come on push a little more, a little more, just a little more, one more time, one more time," and as the trainee you want to scream "I've done it one more time for the last 8 times." I guess we have to be thankful that we are only asked to do it one more time at a time? I think that is why I am really enjoying the Psalms this month. David says some things that I am feeling, and he expresses it in ways that I always don't know how to express he goes back and forth from praising God to asking the tough questions to not knowing the answers and praising God again. David cries out to his Lord, reminds himself of the truth and expresses his feelings all at the same time. I am enjoying the Psalms because they are helping me do the same thing. I think as a result I am also learning to enjoy God right where I am enjoying just being in his presence in the moment, allowing him to do his thing at that time and learning to let go of the unknown and to just be with God. It really is a beautiful thing to experience and to grow in.

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