As time goes on and as I continue to grow and change as a person, as a christian, I am not surprised by the distance that seems to be developing between me and that of my earthly family. I'm not talking about my husband or my kids or even that of my in-laws but more so my side of my earthly family.

I went back to Michigan to see my immediate and some of my extended family members and while we had a good time just spending quality time with my father...as well as a good time just hanging out with some extended family. The fact that neither my brother or sister took an effort to drive just 20mins to come and visit me, nor did they take us up on our offer to drive 20more mins to see them, reminded me how very different and unattached we are to each other.

Being the only Christian in a family is an extremely difficult thing to do because no matter how sensitive I may try to be, no matter how much I may try not to "preach", or how much I may try to show them that I love them and accept them just as they are....we all know that I am still different from them. And that difference, that thing that separates me from them is so extreme it by nature effects our relationship.

Anyone that knows me well, knows how very much I love my siblings as crazy as I may think they are at times, i love them with all my heart. We will forever be bonded by blood, childhood memories, inside jokes that only we get... but as time as gone on as I've chosen to follow Jesus, Jesus has led me far away from my family, from the only place that I still really call home.

I knew that following Jesus could cost me my family, but I guess I was hoping that somewhere during these last 12years that I've been a christian my family would eventually follow Jesus too...

None-the-less I still trust in God's sovereignty and grace. And while my relationship with my earthly family will remain to have it's huge gap, I suppose that is a good thing. Because if there wasn't a huge gap, if there wasn't a huge difference between them and me, than I probably wouldn't be doing what I am supposed to be doing as a Christian. I only have God to praise for giving me the strength, courage, and commitment to follow Christ anywhere.

I will say this though, knowing Christ does not take away the pain I have for my family but he certainly gives me a far greater reason to experience that kind of pain in the first place.