Romans 12

 I am willing to admit that I am biased when it comes to the book of Romans. I learned and came to believe in some important doctrines of faith and grace from this book. I spent many nights in my room as a teenager pouring over and over this book. I asked many of my toughest spiritual questions of God, many with tears, and had them answered through this book. I don't grasp it all yet, I need to continually study more but Romans has by far been one of the most challenging books of the Bible for me.
I am not entirely sure what draws me to the book of Romans the most, sometimes I think I am drawn to it because of the author of Romans, Paul. Talk about a pharisee Paul even admits that if anyone was to brag about their "good works" in the name of God that it would be he.(Phillipans 3)  He even admits to the murdering of Christians by him (Galatians 1:11-17). He was zealous, passionate, you could even have called him a "terrorist."  I think today we find it hard to believe that God could save even a terrorist but I can pour of scripture and see that he did back in Jesus' day He could do so even now. The story of Paul makes me go to my knees and pray for the religious terrorist we have in our world today; who are no more different than Paul was before his conversion.

Right now I am mulling over Romans 12. What is Paul really saying when it talks about "not conforming to the patterns of the world but instead be transformed by the renewing of your mind (vs 1-2)" and in vs 3 he says "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought" and where he talks about using your gifts and serving one another. As well what love looks like (vs9) and how exactly should  "do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position (vs16)" effect our daily lives?

The Lord is really growing me, stretching me, molding me, however you want to call it he is definitely changing my heart and how I view service to him. I am realizing more and more how i so often use the excuse as a busy wife and mother to keep me from serving HIM in more ways. While I must remember and accept that my first god-given role and desire is to be the best wife and mother i can be i have been forced to ask myself the question how best can I fulfill that role. While being a stay at home wife and mother is definitely one way I sense that the Lord wants me to be teaching my children now how they should live and and love later. I am being challenged on what serving with my husband should look like now, while he isn't a pastor. Should our acts of love, spiritual growth, and marital growth stay confined to ourselves and a monthly "alone" date or can it expand into something more? If we live as the Apostle Paul in the name and the authority of Jesus calls us to live how would that play out in my marriage? I think I may find that I would be a little less selfish and that my marriage would blossom more. I so easily tend to think that God created marriage to fulfill my happiness and so often forget that He desires to use my marriage to sanctify me and mold me more into his image.

I think I am going to try to examine Romans 12 a little more this week.