When I was a little girl I dreamed of having a Prince Charming, settling into a castle, having children, making dinner, decorating walls. I would go over to friend's houses and see all that there Mom's have done and I'd say to myself "that's what I want to do." Then as I got older I heard more and more "get a job, take care of yourself." So I did.
I got my first job when I was about 12yrs old mowing the lawn across my street. I got paid $10 every 2 weeks for it. Looking back I now know that I got jipped because that lawn was big enough to fit 3 small custom trailer homes on it. I only know that because that's what the property owner did after I had mowed it for a summer. My 2nd job was babysitting for my baby cousins. I had a very generous aunt and uncle and they paid me a lot more than they should have for just a few hours of watching. Then came my 3rd job at 15, Burger King, starting wage was 6.50hr that was above minimum wage at the time. I worked there for a total of 4yrs. My 4th job came the summer of my freshmen year of college, I was a C.N.A but I also still worked at the BK...that was a tiring summer. My sophomore and junior year of college i worked 2 jobs as well, the c.n.a job and a retail job...that became very depressing by the time i got halfway through my junior year. My summer months were spent working at a ministry camp, i loved that...it just so happens that i got paid for it as well. After college I worked as lab technician for 2 different biological companies. In fact I have worked so many hours that by the time I was 25yrs old I was receiving Social Security statements saying how much money I am entitled to if I were to turn 65yrs old or go on disability.
All this to say I wasn't raised to be a Homemaker and yet here I am trying to be one.
The little bit of training that I have had has come in bits and pieces from other homemakers more wiser and older than me. And I really wish that I hadn't been so proud, stubborn, and frustratingly independent a few years back because I would have learned a lot more from those women if I hadn't have been. Thankfully though a wonderful characteristic about Jesus is that he gives us the ability to grow and learn from our sins.
Most days I feel very ill equipped at my homemaking job. It wasn't what I was raised to do but strangely, and wonderfully it is what God has called me to do. So I do a lot of studying on the subject. I visit friends, and watch them. Yes, I am watching you every time I come over because I desperately need to learn, and I need to learn fast. I read a lot of blogs by Mom's because I learn from those too, and recently I just started to read a book called Creative Corrections, so far it is so good.
As ill equipped as I may feel most days. I do in fact enjoy my homemaking calling. It is far from what I was raised to do but it is by far the thing that I have the most joy in doing even on the days that are filled with numerous poopy diapers, spit up, sore nipples, whining, sleeplessness, leftovers, constant cleaning.
I wish I had the ability to communicate all the thoughts that I have on being a homemaker but I have trouble putting thoughts into communicable words.
Just know that I want to learn, I need to learn more in this area because it wasn't what I was raised to do so most days i feel like a fish out of water. So if you know of any good books that address typical homemaking topics I would love to know what they are, I'd think I'd like to read them in the early morning hours while I'm pumping out some milk for my son.
2 comments:
only a big fat liar would say that she felt confident as a homemaker. It's a bizarre job...never done...never paid...no real feedback...some days I beg somebody to fire me from this job.
I think there is something to just finding your own sense of satisfaction from knowing you are the thread that keeps the whole thing working. That without you, people go hungry, can't find what they need, have no clothes to wear, and have nobody to love them and encourage them.
There's no one right way to do this job, either. It's what works for your family. What makes them happy and healthy and whole. One day you wake up and they don't need you as much and it's very freaky. Trust me. My ten year old brought me a plate of perfect scrambled eggs with strawberries on the side for breakfast...in bed. It's WEIRD.
But kinda nice.
Love your transparency. (And I loved your email - thank you so much - what an encouragement.) I would recommend this book to you Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacey McDonald. I have not read it yet (but have heard wonderful things), and it is on my reading list for the summer. My best friend and I are actually going to try to form a little book club and use this as our first book.
I know I have said it many times, but when you look at homemaking as a glorious, high calling from your Creator and you find the glorious in the mundane - NOTHING else can compare. No, I am not perfect, and no everyday does not seem glorious, but I have found such joy and contentment settling into the role I was created for. I pray you find the same. Keep going Sarah - you are doing great.
(PS Are you following www.raisinghomeakers.com ? That site may appeal to you.)
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