Well it's been about 6weeks since Zachary was born and I still haven't quite found a routine yet for me and my two children. I suppose it's hard to find a routine when I crave sleep like a pregnant lady craves pickles. Thankfully though Zach and I are getting better at nursing, but the sessions are still longer than I would like to be and I will admit that there are moments I just grab the extra supply out of the freezer and give him a bottle over my own nipple, simply for the convenience.
This little guy is not so little weighing almost 12pds already (wow) and having the appetite that most 3months old have. He also doesn't sleep well at night. We were so spoiled with Ellie, I don't know if it was the formula or just the fact that she is a girl but she was sleeping through the night by this point and had a regular sleep/feeding schedule that she stuck too. With Zachary I try to have him on "schedule" but it just fails. If I plan on him eating every 3hours he wants to eat every 2 and if I plan on him eating every 2 hours he'll make it every 3. And where Ellie would just fall asleep completely with no help at all, Zach is the exact opposite. It's either he has to be held or he has to be so full that he is in a milk coma before he goes to sleep. We also haven't just let him "cry" it out because unlike Ellie he is a very gassy baby so the more crying he does the more awake he is because of all the gas pains that follow. Plus, Zachary doesn't have his own room for us to just place him in and let him cry. He and Ellie need to share a room and it just doesn't seem fair to Ellie for us to stick him in her room and make her deal with his crying over us dealing with it. I mean we're older we should be more grown up about the whole thing than she has to be.
Oh the 'good news' is though I read somewhere that most breastfed babies will continue to eat throughout the night for 4-6months.......okay 4-6months? Will I even make it that long? Okay, okay I know the answer is "Yes, you will." but there are days where I can't even believe I made it through just the day.
In some ways I love having two children 13months and 3 days apart because I don't have to deal with the jealousy that older children can often have towards the baby, in fact Ellie mostly ignores Zachary and when she doesn't she tries to help by bringing him a paci, her sippie, or a blanket (so sweet.) Then in other ways it's a really busy job. Meal times are the worst, they both want to eat at the same time and this usually means that one of them has to wait while mommy takes care of the other. I usually try to get Ellie situated in her high chair with some foods she can feed herself before I nurse Zach but this process either way leaves one child screaming for attention. Ellie is getting better at being patient but there is a part of her little brain that just doesn't quite 'get it' yet.
There are moments where I feel like I am completely blind when it comes to parenting. Like, i just don't know what to do and I wing it and hope that it works, lol. I know every mom has those days but I really feel blind a lot simply because I can't even look back and ask myself "What would my parents have done?" hmmmm...let's see my dad would have just spanked me and although I am not against spankings, in fact they are quite frequent in this house for my rebellious toddler, I however do not think every situation merits one. And my mom wasn't around so I really didn't learn anything from her, and my grandmother well I learned love and patience from her.
I have an overwhelming sense of peace in my heart when I think of my grandmother. She wasn't perfect either but she knew how to love 3 ungrateful grandchildren.
It's about 6:00am right now and I can't think anymore...lol so I hope you have a good day and laugh about all the fond memories you have as a young mom. And if you'd like you can leave some words of wisdom, encouragement, or advice on how I can keep my sanity.
1 comment:
oh honey.
I remember. And mine were a big 22 months apart. But the were both babies. And both need you at the same time and you can't win. So you just have to survive. And laugh as much as you can. And sleep whenever you can. The housework will be there. Just ignore it. I know...I didn't ignore it. I tried to do it. And I made myself nuts. I know you are going to try and do it too. But when you look back, you will think, "I should have taken that nap."
Vin was the same way....I think it is a boy thing. Just when I thought I might lose my mind (or I almost dropped him on the floor because I was falling asleep in the chair while nursing him) he got better. I wished I had a sling....those weren't popular yet and I think it would have met his need for constant contact. He is probably going to yank you around for a few more months. Try to just stay alive. One day you will wake up and freak out that you slept all night...and he'll be fine...soaking wet and happy to see you in the MORNING. It will happen...someday!
And if they have to cry, they have to cry. They won't die and they won't remember either. If you are gonna lose it, just put them someplace safe, close the bathroom door and have a good cry or nap or bath or whatever you need to get it back together. You're only human. Mommies lose it sometimes. It happens.
The next few months will probably be foggy. You'll get out of it and wonder "why didn't I savor that more?" And the answer is, because you were just trying to survive. Like we all do. It's ok, Girlfriend. Just hang in there. For all the nuttiness, there will be some lovely moments that make your heart melt and you always treasure. Try to take some pictures so you can remember.
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