Do you ever find yourself just wanting to say "NO" but yet finding yourself without a good reason?
I'm seriously asking the whole 4 people that read this blog to pray for me because the next 6 weeks are going to be very challenging and difficult ones for me to do.
I'm at this place where i'm learning that life isn't about me and so i'm taking on an attitude of learning to do what is best for someone else but at the same time that process can be very draining and difficult, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Sometimes i just want to say "NO," i want to say no to God, I want to say "NO" to friends and I want to be so entirley selfish and hog all of my time to myself and it is a constant struggle to not do that. I guess that is what living this whole Christian 'LIFE TOGETHER' thing is all about.
I won't lie, it's draining and its going to be tough, so those that know me are going to have to pray really hard that God just continous to give me a giving self-less spirit. That i will just continue to pour myself out into others even when at times it doesn't seem like i'm being poured back into.
These next six weeks are going to be tough,,, Daisy and i are in completely seperate groups that are meeting on different nights and that means more driving for me. The big kicker with this one is the fact that I requested it..."Why?" because it is what is best for Daisy, it will also be good for me.
I also find myself being the one that helps get Daisy her drivers license, that takes her places...and its hard...its tough to not hoared myself all to myself.
But i need prayers, I need your prayers, because i can't go out on this 'mission' of self-less living by myself. I need prayers, prayers for patience, prayers for understanding, prayers that i will love despite not wanting to, prayers that I will not let my feelings master me.
So just pray for me, pray for my attitude and please be patient with me as i deal with my struggles of self-less living, giving, and being...
It is hard....and YET ultimately WHAT IS BEST :)
Thanks....
2 comments:
The biggest thing that got me to where I am now (besides, obviously, God) was people who made BIG sacrifices to help me: for example...when my car broke down and I needed rides to and from work, and when I moved to Iowa and didn't have money for groceries, and when I had to buy a new car, and when I needed to see my grandparents in the hospital, etc. It makes a difference! Don't stop doing things for people, Sara, because there will be times when you are the one with big needs and hopefully people will sacrifice for you, too :)
And also, you don't know what will happen as a result.
milestones in redemptive history, my dear.
And one more thing...make her drive. She needs the practice.
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