I know this is a lot for one day, so please don't be frustrated this is highly abnormal for me but when I am watching 3 small children for a 1&1/2days i begin to long for some bigger and brighter conversations that go beyond who did what and who took who's toy...
I don't get too lonely during the day, it's at night when-- i'm not balancing 3 children who want my attention, or i'm not cleaning or job searching or thinking about how i'm going to be a good worker at the job i do have--I realize how lonely I really am.
I try to remember a conversation I had with a friend about bravery before i left, about adventure, pursuing things that matter and i get frightened over what i don't know and i just want to retreat...i just want to go back to the time when things were more predictable when they were easier... and then i know...
I CAN'T
I can't back down, and i can't go away but
I CAN
FACE MY FEARS
I fear time...and not the 'I'm dying' kind of time...
I fear the
waiting.
How long will it take until
I'M BRAVE
until i get a job
I actually want
until
I FIND THAT ONE PERSON
I've been holding
and storing
so much for.
How long?
So there's honesty, there's reallness and at Vintage they're are plenty of people who aren't afraid to be apart of it...
How long will you wait?
4 comments:
Never give up...Never give up...Never give up
What you Don't see, and is Clear to me, is that these are "very early" days for you.
Only in Baptist Bible circles do people think OOOH I GOTTA GET MARRRIIIIEEEEDDDD. I understand that you WANT too. I get that my friend. But now is a time for you to GLORY in just being YOU.
YOU, have put yourself through School.
YOU, have moved cross Country.
YOU are doing these things.
Please, Take some time to BE IN THE MOMENT YOU ARE IN, and Glory in YOURSELF.
YOU are complete in HIM. YOU.
I have lots more tosay on this..but
you are loved.
d.
I didn't mean for it to come across as the whole "not married" thing as the frustration...it's more than just that...i'm not even at a point in life to date...i was just saying the whole loneliness factor in general...
being not married is not the only way someone gets lonely.
I think you understand what i'm saying now.
Donna's right. You will be worth so much more when that someone does come along if you stop waiting for him and start living like you are an independant, courageous warrior serving God. You have so much to bask in right now, Sara.
Remember the country song "I Hope You Dance"? How well do you really think you'll be able to dance right now if you are worried about who your next dance partner will be? Just take a deep breath and savor all the minute details of this time.
I'll pray for you. When you finally step away from everything familiar to try to "make your way in the world"...it is terribly frightening. But guess what, I'm still proud that I did, and you will be too.
Post a Comment