Blessed

My little girl is definitely growing up very fast. She has quite the personality as well :) I am very thankful that she seems to have gotten most of her daddy's "I'm happy with anything:" kind of attitude. LOL, but she definately has my "I want to be with you.." kind of attitude as well. She's not a real snuggly infant but when she wants you she won't let you say no I'm thinking that that should be interesting when jr comes along.

As I am now in my 3rd trimester I am thinking to myself "Wow, this went by really fast." Maybe 2nd pregnancies seem to go faster because we're busy with the first child. For a long time though I wasn't really looking forward to a 2nd child and honestly there are moments even now when I freak out about it. But the more I feel this little guy kick and move the more I feel blessed with the gift a life. I know of several ladies who would love to have this feeling, who would love to be in our situation, to have my kind of fertility and God uses that to remind me to be thankful. Children really are a blessing but as we talk about at my church a lot, everything that we encounter in our lives as a Christian is being used by God to further our sanctification. Which isn't always an encouraging statement because sanctification is a long, hard, purification process and I often already feel as though I've had my fair share in my short life. Yet, it is a good process or else God wouldn't do it because it is not in his nature to do anything that is not good. The trials of life certainly is something to get us thinking about our view on God.

We have been studying the beatitudes in Matthew for Sunday School and the "Blessed our the..." verses have not always been encouraging ones to me. Because I think how is being mournful a blessing, how is being poor in spirit a blessing, how is being persecuted a blessing? And it was pointed out to me during one particular class that these our blessings because often those who are in such states recognize their complete and utter dependency on their need for God. And to be completely dependent on God is not a bad thing. Not only that but these verses also challenge us to re-think the way we view God's blessing in our Christian lives. Often we think that someone has been blessed by God by the kind of job they have, school they go to, house they live in. We place the idea of blessing in a materialistic view and while God can and does choose to bless some that way others he chooses to live lives filled with non-material blessings. Both blessings He uses to ultimately bring glory to himself but not everyone gets the exact same blessings except for one, every believer gets the eternal blessings of living in a relationship with Christ, with God, in the kingdom. Yet many of the Kingdom blessings are futuristic not for life here on earth and as a feeble minded human I have a hard time seeing that future and looking forward to that future because I want a better life now, not later, now. But in so many of Christ's teaching's it is really later that we should be looking forward to the most.

As I go back and forth with my emotions to being a mother of 2 children only 13months a part, as I struggle with needing to be on state assistance in order to be able to go to the doctor and therefore able to pay the rest of our bills. AS I struggle with having to go onto WIC and going to the state assistance office to meet with people that view you as a number and not necessarily really a person. I try to remember how blessed I really am because of Christ and if that is the only blessing God is ever to give me that really should be enough but it often isn't for me. So I have to remind myself a little bit everyday to, as cheesy as it sounds, "count my blessings." Otherwise i can get so focused on what I don't have instead of what I do have.

Just look at those pictures....I think that I have been very blessed.