something i can now understand a little more of

Carl and I had a wonderful evening alone Friday night. I think I had forgotten somewhere in the past 8 months what time to just be spouses was like. Carl and I have gone on dates in the past 8 months but we've always been back by a certain time and to have a Friday night to not have to be back by anytime was really precious for us especially after Carl worked a 60hour week.

With my husband working a lot to just provide for our family I am beginning to understand why a woman could, can, and often does begin to wrap her life around her child/children. What else is there for her to do? Who else is there for her to talk to? Why not keep herself busy with her kids? I can see where this easily becomes a temptation for me as I spend most of my time with my daughter and the baby growing inside me. I even find myself longing to be with my daughter when I feel lonely.

Is this necessarily wrong? Maybe not? But I can not and must not expect my children to fill me, just like I can not expect my husband to fill me. Only Jesus can truly fill me and during the times of trials and temptations I need to lean on him because He will help me to find a balance. He will help me to love my children but to also love my husband and to eagerly wait for time with my husband, to long for him, to want to just be with him, to want to just talk to him, and to not just talk about the kids but to talk about other things.

Carl and I need more date night even if we do have a set time to return home to...we need more of them. Especially because he works 60+ hours a week and the time he does get at home he wants to play with his daughter whom he hardly sees. We need more time to just talk to one another, to just be together, to just adore and love on one another and 'dream shop' with each other.

Yeah...we need more time...