It is 12:15am and I just spent the last 16hours hanging out with my good friend Elizabeth from Michigan. I am so blessed to have such a great woman of the Lord as my friend and it is so encouraging to see that some of the most godly,mature people in the Lord come out of not Bible Colleges but just out of churches. I think it is encouraging to see that our churches are still doing what pleases God, by His grace, in someway shape and form to still produce quality Christians. No church, or Bible school for that matter is perfect but I am reminded by the fact that the Holy Spirit is the best teacher in our lives towards life and godliness, that those who are truly in tuned to HIM and his word, really do prevail no matter the background. What a rich truth that is to know.
I've been going to counseling now for almost 3 months and there is a part of me that is like..."Okay Lord, when is this going to end?" It is a little bit like a told Carl, there is a part of me that is getting tired of the discipline, a part that is growing weary, and is wondering will I ever really get to move on or will this just keep going and going and going like the Energizer Bunny.
Then I remind myself that a good parent doesn't only discipline their child once but it is a re-occurring process that overtime eventually begins to transform their child for their better. My supportive husband also reminded me of the Israelites in the book of Isaiah and of how the Lord told them of the discipline that he was going to bring into their life for not obeying him. And when the Israelites began to grow weary of the discipline they ran to Egypt for refuge but God sent the Babylonians in anyway and wiped out Egypt and then rebukes Israel for not turning to him for refuge. Basically, God wants us to turn to him even when it is he that is disciplining us. He wants us to find our refuge and strength in him knowing that God, being a good God, does not abuse his children. He knows exactly how much we need, he knows what will sink into our hearts and change us just like a good parent learns what their child needs in order to help lead them in the right direction.
Recently, in my counseling, I was assigned to read the book People Pleasing: How not to be an "approval junkie" by Lou Priolo. All I can say about this book is if you don't want to be slapped about all of our approval addictions don't read this book. The first 4 chapters of this book is rather gut wrenching especially when he speaks of things that is true about yourself. I think we all have varying degree's of being an "approval junkie" some of us more than others. I will also be honest I really struggled with this book at first because it seemed like all the author was trying to do is make us all feel guilty about the sins we regularly commit in life, and that he just wanted us to dwell on our sins and our mistakes. I hate it when authors do that because I believe that as redeemed Christians God calls us to look to him more and to ourselves less. But as I read the book I think what the author is trying to do is first bring the "People Pleaser" to a point of humility..I think he is trying to point out to us the most difficult sin for us to see in ourselves, pride. And once we have been brought to a point of humility he is then able to help us to see Christ more.
I must say I don't struggle with people pleasing now as much as I did when I was in high school, but i still have a ways to go before I truly am more focused on Christ than I am on the approval of man. People Pleasing is a good, well written , convicting book in which I challenge you to read. The odds are, that like me, you may find yourself angry at some of the things that he may say about our nature of people pleasing but ultimately I think you will eventually see how true certain aspects of it are and also find that you don't have to stay a people pleaser, that with Christ and the work of the Holy spirit in our hearts you can change. We can change.
Now I will end with a saying I used to end all my emails with.
"Stand strong, Be courageous, for He really does love us."
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