There seems to be this one thing, called comparison, that we seem to not be able to avoid...at least it's something that i deeply fall into. I know that many of my other posts on this subject has been about how I, or us women in general, fall into comparing our bodies, our houses, ect... to others, but I'm wondering if it's just me or do we seem to fall into comparing all aspect of our lives?
I recently had a conversation with a friend from college who has been married close to a year now, and she was telling me about her and her husbands plans for the future, where they would like to eventually be and how they hope to get there etc...and then she asked me the inevitable question "So what are your and Carl's plans?"
Plans? Plans? What plans? I thought we were just going to get married and stay alive and learn to love, and just see which way the wind goes? Should we have plans? Am i a terrible follower of Christ because i haven't set any plans? Is a lack of plans indicating a lack of direction? Goals?
Plans?
What plans?
And, of course the next thing begins to happen, you guessed...I then compared myself, my relationship, my future...
This is a dirty habbit that needs to be broken...
There i was sitting on my bed almost in tears because I felt like a second class citizen for not having a plan to enter the ministry right away......and it hurt.
My friend did not intentionally make me feel this way by any means, she just simply asked a simple question..."What are your plans?"
I guess sometimes i read and i hear about what other people are doing and i get what i like to call "ministry envy." I get envious that there are people that are just tapped into what God would have them to do with their lives, as an individual, as a couple....and I get envious because i wonder why God hasn't made those things so evidentially clear to us.
It isn't that Carl and I don't have ideas, or don't have dreams of what we would like to do, i think it's just that we both realize that so often we can plan one thing and God can and at times does another....and one of our main goals (plans) if one wants to call it that is to be willing and open to whatever direction God could take us even if it isn't something we ever thought we would do.
Something that Carl and I have discussed recently is how we are really trying to not rush into things, and to not rush out of things. We have really been trying to focus are energies into finding some areas of contentment and peace about where we are. We are trying to learn to enjoy the stage of our lives that we are in and we are trying to learn and accept the fact that it's okay that we don't have everything figured out right now.
Right now, we really think that the biggest thing we can do, and the biggest thing that God wants us to do besides loving others and doing what Christians should do...is to pay off our loans...How many Christians say "It is our calling to pay off our loans..."? I won't feel guilty about that...I shouldn't feel guilty about that.
I don't doubt that God has something in store in ministry for Carl and I...we don't know what it is yet....but right now he is calling us to pay off our debt to owe no one anything accept to love, and it's a call that he and I take seriously...
So for now, our plan....the little plan that we have, the one that we see, the thing that God is calling us to do...is to pay off our debt as much as we can, to be faithful with what we have, to serve in the ministry's that are currently before us, to grow in love and faithfulness to each other before God, to love those around us....
I think that is a good plan, and all of those things entails hard work...there is hard work involved for those in full time ministry and there is hard work involved to those that are not in a "full" time ministry.
One of the greatest things that i learned at BBC was from Professor Dave Bonehing which was "Everything is a ministry."
Now there was a man who understood the calling that every Christian has to be faithful to what God has given him to do and he respected those whose callings were different than his own.
I hope that i am, that i continue, and that i become a person who does too.
So my plans, our plans...well,... there you have them.
4 comments:
WEll..Just one thought on the loan thing.
I have seen MANY MANY people have to LEAVE the ministry they were in because of the Debts they had incurred getting into ministry.
Loans are an anchor, a weight that will keep you tied down, and not be able to free you for FULL ministry.
If you "Go TO THE MISSION FIELD"...you have to have them paid ...or raise more etc.
I think thats a noble cause.
We are going through "Managing Money God's Way"...and a lot of it talks about Debt free living.
The only way you can do that is BE DEBT free.
You talk about "getting a job" etc. How about making it a goal, to get a job, and use ALL of that money toward debt reduction. Pick ONE bill...pay that off, then, use that SAME amount to pay off the next bill.
Even McDonalds at 200 a week...can pay off 800 a month toward a bill. That is huge. NO extras...Only Debt reduction.
Have really been enjoying "Rev BIlly" and the "church of stop Shopping". Its motivating, engrossing and Encouraging. http://www.revbilly.com
I totally think it's a great perspective! The loan thing is a big thing...but I also think it's great just to take time to adjust to being married. It takes time to and the more you can do that before adding in the pressures of ministry on top...it's good!
You guys live out where you are at and stuff the expecations of graduating from a "ministry" school. God's timing is perfect and he has you where you are at for a reason.
I've been thinking about your post. I remember you posting many times before about comparing yourself to this or that..or what one person had, said or did...or Looked.
Maybe it IS an age thing, But I don't remember feeling that way when I was "Younger".
For me..I've known I have a strong personality, as you do. That I am a individualist as you are. and..with that...we are going to hang out a little from our dresses, talk a little louder, walk a little faster, and generally be more noticeable than other more "genteel" ladies.
We will live harder, live fuller, and make bigger mistakes. But in that...hopefully...we will also do more for the kingdom.
There is no room in "kingdom" speak for comparisons. How could you or they possible be able to speak to Whom I can? How can SHE have any speck of influence where YOU can. God ...formed us for who WE ARE IN HIM, separate and complete in our entirety. Wasn't that the first lesson in "Purpose Driven Life" that changed our lives?
Comparison means we arnt sure of what place God has for us. I expect difficulty, but also expect Grace.
Instead of comparing..try being THRILLED for who THEY are, where THEY are going, and you will be blessed. As we help others achieve their dreams...ours become reality.
Well, said Donna, that was very encouraging to me.
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