This is a somewhat random post of my different thoughts.
Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be enough time to fit 'everything' into my schedule and then other times there seems to be too much time, too much distance, too much boredom...ect. Does life ever find a balance?
I'm tired, I think that I need a nap.
So many questions, so many that get unanswered.
I think, sometimes, i want to use Heaven as a copout for life here on Earth. Now i know that its a very good thing to look forward to heaven but sometimes i just want heaven because I'm tired of the struggles a sin filled earth has. However, Vanessa brought out a good point by saying that she believed that "God wants you to learn as much as you possibly can about him while you are here on Earth."
How true is that!
I think that there are times when i look at my short 23 yrs of life and all that God has taken me through, into, and out of, and i begin to ask questions like "what more does HE want to teach me?" and statements like "Is it going to be as hard as the last lesson?" But then i realize how truly beautiful it all is...that for whatever reason what takes some people there whole life to learn God chose to teach me it in a few years.
Then I stand there in amazement before God and ask him another question "What do you want me to do with it all? You chose to teach me these things and i know that you don't want me to waiste them. I know that you want me to proclaim your glory and goodness in my life to others...but how, and when, and where, and with whom?"
I often feel a huge responsiblity to not keep quiet, I think that God has done so much for his glory in my life that to just shut my mouth would not be giving him the honor that he deserves.
Someone once told me that what drew them to me was my willingness to do anything for the kingdom. I've often asked myself why that is, why am i willing to do anything and not just one set thing, and my answer is because HE has done so much for me. I have no choice but to give my life to him and not out of debt but because his love has literally poured over my cup.
So, i may be tired, and i may be exhausted and i may feel the push and strain of life but if heaven isn't coming for a few more years then i will choose to soak in the rain in the lessons of God through life.
I hope that you all will too.
1 comment:
Sara, although this was a random post :) it was a good one.
I brought up translation work today because I was praying about some similar things this morning. I dream of it going hand in hand with teaching. Many people have told me they see a wealth of knowledge/understanding of the Word in me. I know that that wealth comes from many years of studying the word when I was little and from God's gracious gift in languages/the study of Hebrew.
Sometimes I dream of being like William Carey, although I don't want to lose my wife and children. I know and groan that God won't bring me to that point for awhile. But He is teaching me to live out more and more what I know and believe. I have a lot to learn.
Shalom M'lady
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