There are some things that have happened in my life that I don't think i will ever understand.
I was remembering what was probably the best Christmas i have ever had today. That memory takes place when i was somewhere between the age of 6-10yrs of age (all i know is it happened shortly after Disney released The Little Mermaid). I can remember the smells that were in the house that Christmas day and I remember the people that were there, particularily CJ my dad's girlfriend.
Every very good memory that i have of my father CJ is in it as well. CJ was there when my mother moved to Ohio, she was there for all of my birthdays and help to make them very special. She was there for a good chunk of the Christmas that i had as a kid. She was there on camping trips as well as trips to Cedar Point. She was there for my first trip ever to the Mackinaw bridge and she was there while my grandmother was dying. She was there for her funeral...she held me while my grandmother's casket was accidently dropped due to some very slippery ice.
CJ was there...until about 6months after my grandmother died and then she stopped being there. My (mom?) and dad broke up. I remember my dad telling me that it was alright for us kids to still visit CJ and then when i asked him if i could go over for a weekend he said no.
CJ was one of the best things that ever happened for my family. She brought peace when there was none, and hope when we were lost. CJ was able to talk to my dad when he was being unreasonable towards us kids, she was willing to tell him that his little girls and his little boy needed more than just food in our stomachs and clothes on our backs. She even understood why i wanted to go to church and encouraged it.
Then, she was gone...I saw her a few times during my senior year of highschool and then going into my sophmore year of college she was the one to help me get my license.
As much insight that i have to the things that happened to me in my life I won't ever understand why CJ had to stop being apart of it.
I can have peace that God knew what he was doing, i can have the assurance that he loves me and cared for me in ways that CJ never could and yes i learned to trust God in ways I might not have had she had been there all along...but I won't ever really understand.
Anybody else out there not understand something about your own lives?
3 comments:
I will never EVER understand why God allowed Robb's aunt Emily to die. But I will say that her kids turned out so very beautifully inspite of losing their mother.
I think CJ was like an angel for you...there when you really needed her for a season in your life.
That was really sweet, it made me cry...
Thank you :)
i will never understand why God allows Christians to be so cruel to each other.
I will never understand why, exactly a year ago...God brought me a warrior to fight for me, to be strong for me, to love away the hurts in my heart. But He did, and I'm so glad.
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