Whats the point to male, female friendships?
I know its a shocker that i would be asking it but I've really been thinking about it a lot lately and i just don't see the point to them any more. It seems as though male, female friendships are for a season...highschool, for instance, is not an unusual time to have 'just friends' of the opposite sex, college isn't either but now that i'm out of college it seems to change the whole dynamic of male, female friendships...because if two single people of the opposite sex meet for the first time the first thought that usually crosses their mind isn't ...'oh this person would be a great friend.' I mean there is this constant underlying evaluation of the other person to figure out first whether or not they are dateable and then marriable...what's with that?
Not only but i think of my friends Steve and Dan the only 2 guys that i really keep in contact with from college and even with those two i find myself asking...Whats the point? I'm not going to marry either of them, they aren't going to marry me so whats the point?
I will never be able to have the kind of deep relationship with them as i will with my husband. And I will never be able to have them the kind of deep relationship that i do with my girlfriends such as Daisy, and Vanessa....so i find myself asking Whats' the point? Why bother?
I guess i find myself asking "whats the point" because eventually Steve, and Dan, will get married and the level of communication will come almost non-existant or to a surface level because wives and husbands don't take to kindly to their partner confiding in someone of the opposite sex that are not them...so I just find myself asking ///what's the point?
At the same time if i just said them..'okay guys, we aren't getting married hope you find the person you will marry and i'll see you in the next life.." Well, that would just suck...
Oh well, time will have it as it will have it and i'm sure it really won't matter all that much once that person enters our lives...but in the mean time i'm just asking "Whats the point?"
If you have some insight i would like to know it..
4 comments:
because Dan makes you laugh, right?
So there's no permanence. There's no permanence to any of your friendships, really. God brings them into your life for a season and then another season comes and other people come into your life.
I mourned the loss of my friends in MI for a long, long time. Now it is time to make new friends.
You learn alot from being friends with the boys. They have a different perpective than you do and they think COMPLETELY differently.
Not to mention the fact that it must really be nice for Dan especially to have someone call and chat...think how boring his life is right now...You're gonna take that away from him because you don't see it going anywhere? Is that what is best for him?
Friends are friends. They bring a richness to life that you wouldn't experience otherwise. Don't be impoverished for no reason.
Of course, steve is lousy at friendship and I can see why you would struggle...he means well but he spends most of his time somewhere deep in his head. Love that guy but wish he would wake up.
Well..most of my friends through my life have been Guys. I haven't really mastered many female friends.
Guys..Dont bitch like females, dont backstab, are loyal, and make me laugh.
You ask what's the point. THe point is..God puts people in our lives to mold us..sharpen us, shame us, etc. (Iron Sharpeneth iron, So a Man Sharpeneth the countenance of his friend)
Its not just a girl girl world. Especially in the field of Corrections..it is VERY top heavy with Men. Single Men. ( and NOT just the ones in prison!! LOL).
WHats the point? We need to pray for those people in our lives. (After Job prayed for his friends...)
At the same time you are right to be Cautious (A rightous man is cautious in friendship Prov 12:26)
Jesus..wasn't He a FRIEND to sinners...I mean first of all He bacame FRIENDS with others ..then a deeper relationship could begin.
Male friends are the best practice for marriage. You can figure out what bugs you, what you like and Stick to that for the future.
Friends have challenged me to do right, (as well as tried to drag me down) but usually the Point is...to give, and serve and be given back to. Male friends can and will be brutally honest, and are real convienent when your car breaks down.
ANd...one other thing..."to have FRIENDS you have to "Shew" thyself...to be friendly. If you aren't friends with guys...you are limiting yourself for what you can learn, they can learn, and what God may use you for.
I"ve been thinking about this. Interesting question.
i lost all my guy-friends for the most part when i got married. but i'll tell you, some of them were there for me when no one else was...there was a guy out here who would go to the movies with me, and even took off work to take me to the hospital when my grandpa was there. i know, they are definitely short term...but there is a sweetness in that they will step up and do anything for you in a need. do for them what you would have them do for you.
i do think you are right that there is always that underlying thought of analyzing and measuring friends of the opposite sex to see if there is a possibility for more than friendship. but for me, the best guy friends i had were the ones who weren't trying to date me. enjoy them while they are there. :)
by the way, i'd like to see pics of your apartment. josh is moving out here next week, and i'm going to try to help him get some things together that he'll need (yippee for trips to goodwill and salvation army!)
Thanks for the insight everyone..i agree with you all...i won't give up on those friendships any time soon.
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