I will Never understand....

I will never understand two things no matter how much i do research on these subjects...I will never understand BIPOLAR, and SCITZOPHRANIA (i can't even spell it right.)

I talked to my mother earlier today and she was in a really good mood, very excited, just really seemed to be doing well...and then i just called at about 7:15 p.m..and my grandpa answered the phone in a rush...didn't really seem to have time to talk to me and such...so he put my mom on the phone and i started talking to her a little..and I asked if grandpa was fixing dinner and she said "No, he's just busy because i'm getting ready to go into the hospital"

We're not talking regular hospitals we're talking state hospitals (mental wards)... Now i know this isn't anything new for my mom..but i've recently been working on building my relationship up with her and when i begin to think about why she is going into the hopsital...it isn't because she is just having a bad day...it is because she doesn't want to live anymore...

She is thinking and will act upon any thoughts of suicide if it is not taken care of right away...My mom could be dead tomorrow morning if the doctors don't tie her to a bed to keep her from, not another person, but herself.

I can't imagine what it would be like to hear literal, physical, as real as the person who just talked to you a few minutes ago say things to you to make you want to die.

For years i've tried to ignore Bipolar and Scitzophrania...for years.. i've just have never really thought about the implications of it...and now when i realize how much i love my mother even though she wasn't always there to love me...i realize that i don't want her death to be the result of herself...

She'll be in the hospital soon...she could be there a few days, a few weeks, or maybe even a few months...it all just depends.

In the mean time...please pray...My mom says' she believes in Jesus Christ..maybe she does...i guess i have to take her words over her actions...so pray that she would find strength in him ...if she even knows how?